Redamancy: Requited Love
Search “Unrequited Love” on Google and you get 8,211,000 results, including a fully dedicated Wiki page. Search the opposite, “Requited Love” or “Redamancy” and you get ~800,000 results- a tenth of its sadder antonym- front page full of dictionary definitions, the rolling tumbleweeds of Google.
So I‘m putting something positive up for those of you who care about happy things on an Internet of dark lies.
Here are a few good, deep search results (past the front page) for Redamancy:
- Gorgeous Pink Dress
- Soft Lovin’ Pop
- Solid Poems
- Lovely Art
- Sweet Sweet Short Film
- A Beautiful Beer
- Photo Gallery in the Museum of Humanity
It’s clear there’s creativity across the spectrum to match the concept’s complexity, though it pales in comparison to the torrent of quality content on unrequited love.
So here’s a personal story. I’m 25. I’ve only ever seriously dated one girl. I love her. She loves me. As far as I can tell at least. That’s it. Full story.
Maybe that’s why unrequited love is so much more popular: it’s more interesting. From a surface level, there’s more behavioral variability, a higher chance of something unique happening, when one person loves another who does not love them back. The lover can become a stalker, a murderer, worse. The rejecter can become scared, cold, harsh.
When two people love each other they’re bland, they’re boring, they kiss and make up- they’re stable. Disgusting. Stability is complacency. Conformity. BOREDOM.
Tension drives good stories and there’s no tension in a good relationship. Or as Will Toledo of Car Seat Headrest says in Sober to Death: “Good stories are bad lives,” and “good lives make bad stories.”
But love actually has more tension than un-love because there’s so much more at stake. Each conversation means a possible rift between you and the person you care about most. Each hug, each smile could be your last exchange. There’s nothing scarier than the death of a loved one who truly loves you back. Not to mention any argument could end your run. Arbitrary details could hang either of you up to dry, the relationship to die.
Anyway, I said this article would be positive, so I’ll end on a lover’s rock, not a quarrel.
Redamancy exists more in real life than unrequited love. In fact, it’s the norm. So I’d like to popularize the concept. I’ll post the word all over the internet for this next week or so. I encourage you to join me. If not, at least tell your loved ones you love them. Remind them their love is requited. Remind them, you are in redamancy.
With Love,
Brett
